Relationship Radar: Communication is a sensitive topic. When you’re at the beginning of a new relationship, it can feel awkward to be honest and vulnerable. When you’re in a long-term relationship, breaking old habits and changing how you interact with your partner can be difficult and scary. No matter where you are in your relationship, communication is essential, but people often take it for granted.
Relationship RADAR® is an online assessment tool that enables companies with important B2B relationships to quickly identify issues that threaten those relationships – thus reducing risk – and identify opportunities that can develop and grow the relationship and thus maximize its potential. Critically, Relationship RADAR® gives you a one-number relationship health score that includes but is more rounded than the Recommendation Propensity Score.
This article walks you through one of our favorites: our Monthly Related Care Signup, also known as R.A.D.A.R.
First let’s go over some basics. A good relational login: Happens regularly. (This month, every week, etc.) Create a safe space to talk about uncomfortable topics.
Follows a set pattern
This can be done even when things seem good
Why is it necessary to do a regular check-in at all? Why not talk about things as they appear as normal people? The good news is that even if you have a regular, established relationship, you can still talk about things organically.
Additionally, having a regular safe space for communication helps bring up topics of discussion before they become full-blown issues. This allows you to minimize daily administration and processing while maximizing positive processing time with your partner. It also prevents “problems from piling up” until someone has to explode and release all their grievances at once.
Now let’s go through the steps.
For this first step, you sit down with your partner and look at the past month (or any time since your last check-in). It might help to look at your calendar and see what happened in the last month. You are not debating or processing now, so stick to the facts.
If you previously had RADAR, you can also view previous action points at this point. Examples: I went out on the first date. We had an argument about homework. My working hours were extended at work. We found this new whimsical thing to try in bed, etc.
2. Agree on the agenda
After reviewing the past month, decide what to discuss. We have compiled a list of fixed topics. We encourage you to talk about all of these topics, even if there are no issues in this arena. You can also modify the list by removing topics that are not relevant to your relationship or by adding new important topics.
Quality time – Sex – Health – Other partners – Quarrels/arguments – Money – Work/projects – Travel – Family – Household – Other issues You can listen to a more detailed explanation of each topic in the episode.
This step is self-explanatory. Go over the agenda with your partner. You can choose to tackle the most urgent or important topics first, or move down the list from top to bottom. Be sure to discuss each topic regardless of whether or not there are issues in that arena.
The conversation phase can hit many different emotional points, from laughing and joking with each other to sharing difficult or painful feelings. It’s normal! Compassion, empathy and active listening will help you here. When things heat up, it’s a good idea to take a quick break to cool off before getting back into it.
4 . Action points
As you and your partner discuss, you may decide to include specific and achievable action points. We’ve all had the experience of talking to a partner about a difficult situation, but nothing has changed. Action points ensure that you both take steps to resolve differences and continue to invest in your relationship. They are also a great way to try temporary solutions to recurring problems.
Examples: After discussing a housekeeping dispute, we decided to spend the next month with one in charge of meal planning and preparation and another in charge of laundry. We’ll check back in a month and see how the division of labor feels. Not all topics necessarily need an action point.
When you have the next RADAR, go back and review the action points from the previous session. Were they reached? Why or why not? What could be the next step?
You have reached the end of RADAR! Now is the time to congratulate yourself on all the hard work you have done. Find a way to connect with your partner and end the session on a positive note. You can take turns appreciating each other and giving special compliments. You can move on to a fun activity that you can share. Massages, hugs and sex are good for that.
Related: Relationship Anarchy Smorgasbord