Ambiamorous: The term ambiamorous can be defined as a sub-identifier under the umbrella of polyamory, which describes individuals who are satisfied with either monogamous or polyamorous relationships. Unlike some polyamorous people who can’t understand monogamy, or monogamous people who can’t stand the thought of polyamory, bisexual people don’t experience anxiety or the feeling of being trapped in both relationship structures.
Ambiamorous is a term that usually refers to people who enjoy both money and polyamory. Ambiamorous people usually have little or no preference between the two.
They can express their feelings to only one partner or several partners at the same time. People who are ambitious may enjoy dating one person and are perfectly capable of a monogamous/monoamorous relationship. They may also enjoy dating multiple people and enter into polygamous/polyamorous relationships with other partners.
Ambiamorous – Origin
According to Google Trends, the term ambiamory has seen recent popularity, although its true origins are unknown. Google shows peaks in interest between 2004 and 2006 and significant growth in July 2020, reflecting broader interest in non-monogamy over the past five years. Despite the lack of knowledge about the term and its origins, it is clear that ambiamoria has recently become a topic of discussion and curiosity.
Identity or preference?
As we discussed earlier, the debate about whether polyamory and monogamy should be viewed as identities or preferences is a complex one. Rather than a binary perspective, some, such as Poly.
Land’s Page Turner, argue that there is a spectrum between the two trends. Ambiamory appears on that spectrum, indicating that individuals can embrace both monogamous and polyamorous tendencies to varying degrees, just as the spectrum of sexual orientation extends beyond the categories of hetero and homosexual.
Turner also describes some of the possible reasons why someone might want to identify as ambitious, noting that more often than not, “a person identifies as ambitious because it is important to let people know that they are open to either monogamous or monogamous romantic relationships. “This could be because:
Someone wants to acknowledge their experience and/or comfort in polyamorous relationship systems, but is also open to monogamy. They are currently either in a monogamous relationship or in a polyamorous relationship and do not want their current status to erase the other half of their identity. They want to be part of both polyamorous and monogamous social communities, while emphasizing that they do not consider either relationship structure or its true mode; for people to have happy relationships.
Discrimination towards ambiamory
Reddit has anecdotal stories of discrimination against both monogamous and non-monogamous individuals by ambitious individuals. For example: “It’s really hard to be ambitious because poly or mono people don’t trust us.” “I’m happy being single or with one partner, but I wouldn’t be happy with expected monogamy.
So I doubt I’d get into a relationship with someone ambitious because there’s a risk they’ll go one-and-quote on me. With most people it will happen someday and it’s an abomination.” “I tend to think that ambidextrous can really work in prescriptive monodynamics rather than rule-bound relationships.
This assumes, of course, that many prescriptive unitary relationships (or contracts) do not allow partnership outside of the relationship unless they are controlled.” “Maybe ambidextrous is more a form of polytheism?”
On the other hand, they may also choose monogamy if their partner prefers it, if they lack the emotional bandwidth for multiple partners, if there are few suitable partners, or for simplicity and social norms. Some possible reasons why someone ambitious might want non-monogamy are: They want to be with someone who is in a polyamorous relationship.
Is Ambiamory Right for You?
Again, this is definitely a fairly common cause. While a strictly monogamous person might consider making such a big sacrifice to meet a polyamorous person, for an ambitious person it’s usually not a big deal, especially since they have the option to continue. relationships with other people if they want. They have hit the love jackpot and found many people they love and connect with on a deep level. They enjoy the web of relationships that can form between metawalls.
Their relationship system often functions as a kind of chosen family. They note the quality of actually giving their lovers the freedom to see other people, even though they may meet alone less often than their lovers (and sometimes even be functionally monogamous, sometimes).
On the other hand, some of the reasons why an ambitious person might want monogamy could be: They would like to be with someone who prefers a monogamous relationship. Despite the fact that they may like polyamorous relationship systems, an ambitious person sometimes chooses to date only one person because that is exactly what their partner wants.
Although this may be a big sacrifice for someone who likes polyamory, you can find ambitious people for whom this kind of modification is not really a problem. They really lack psychological bandwidth because they may be doing difficult psychological work, grieving someone, or going through a breakup. Many ambitious individuals are functionally monogamous for very long periods of time when they do not have the psychological strength for multiple or multiple lovers.
They now live in the countryside or else find too few suitable lovers. They decided to simplify their romantic life to really save time, energy and effort. Often it is because they are busy with non-romantic things (due to efforts, maintenance, illness, etc.).
Others who normally enjoy many aspects of polyamorous relationship systems may transition to dating only one partner as they struggle with the organizational and/or time management challenges and important relationship conversations that polyamorous life brings. They are tired of the stigma that often accompanies polyamorous relationships and have now consciously chosen to lead a normal life.
You can be both, in varying amounts and in varying qualities, at different times and with different people. The labels ‘monogamy’ and ‘polyamory’ are crude models to explain feelings, but they are clearly not the same for everyone and they are not the only options.”
Terminology
The word comes from the Latin prefix ambo, meaning “both hands”. According to Urban Dictionary, the meaning of ambitious is: “pertaining to or relating to ambiamory, the condition or practice of enjoying both monogamous and polyamorous mutual relationships” It is important to note that ambiamoria should not be confused with other similar concepts. For example, people who are ambitious have long-term committed relationships with one partner, may also have good relationships, and may value partnerships with multiple partners.
Despite the limited resources of ambiamory, most people associate it with the possibility of being happy in both relationships, depending on the situation. Ambiamoria can involve sexual, platonic, romantic, queerplatonic, or any other aspect of monogamy or polygamy. It can also represent other attractions that can be grouped into one category.
History
Many people say they can be happy in either polyamorous or monoamorous relationships, depending on the situation. While the exact date and origin of the term is unknown, the fact remains that in a 2016 survey of single adults in the United States, nearly one in five were in a consensual non-monogamous relationship.
Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist and researcher at the Kinsey Institute for the Study of Sex, Gender and Reproduction in Bloomington, Indiana, says: “The past decade has seen an increase in Google searches for the terms ‘polyamory’ and ‘open relationship,’ indicating increased interest in the topic.
Flag and symbols
The most commonly used ambimoral flag was uploaded by a Tumblr user in 2020. Colors have no confirmed or precise meaning.
Pronouns
People who aspire can be cisgender, genderqueer, non-binary, transgender, two-spirit, and many other genders. They can use different sets of pronouns, from gender specific to gender neutral. Some gender-neutral pronouns they can use include:
- they/them
- ze/zir
- xe/xem
- ee/eem
Some may use gender-specific pronouns:
- she/her
- he/him
It is always important to remember that people’s pronouns should not be assumed based on their relationship, sexual orientation, gender expression or presentation.
Remember to share your pronouns in communication and ask the person which pronouns they prefer to use.
How do you know if you are ambitious?
If you think this term best describes your approach to dating, go for it. Ambitious people are happy in both monogamous and polyamorous relationships because both of these relationships suit them well.
If you feel this label best fits you and your identity, you may be an ambitious person who is equally happy with partners in both mono and polyamorous relationships. You can also be an ambitious person if you don’t like it either.
References
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